Keep Sex Offenders Out of Our Restrooms

There has been a noticeable uproar at the thought of potentially letting child molesters into our public restrooms. It’s difficult, as a non-parent, to comprehend the fear of knowing my own child is endangered in such a common and otherwise harmless place. Having to watch out vigilantly to avoid the endangerment of a child must be stressful, and my heart goes out to these poor parents and of course any past or future child victims.

I think we all can agree that public facilities should be available to people of any stripe no matter their differences. Just because a “man wears a dress” doesn’t mean such a person is not entitled to the same accommodations as we non-dress-wearing folk. I have a suggestion that might be able to set these parents at ease while maintaining equality for all. Separate restrooms for Catholic priests.

With separate restrooms, parents could be at ease knowing that their children are safe from potential predators. Catholic priests would have the same public facilities as the rest of us such as restrooms, locker rooms, showers, etc, but without the added social tension of being forced to accept them in close proximity to ourselves and our children.

It would certainly be a relief to know that a man couldn’t just put on a dress and walk into the little boys or girls’ room and hurt our children. Separate restrooms is the only option. We certainly cannot allow them to use the restroom of their choice!

Some of you may be wondering if it is ethical to segregate them like this, well of course. There is no reason for us to sacrifice our comfort for the sake of “equality.” Punishing only the offenders if they offend is too tedious. Child molestation is already illegal to be sure, but it should be just as illegal for a Catholic priest to enter an undesignated public restroom.

Controlling for the entire group is the only way I can envision our children as safe. Besides, we are talking about the “rights” of a very small segment of the population to which we needn’t cater. The goal cannot be to punish crimes if and when they occur. That will be too late. No, we have to single them out.

Catholic priests being uncomfortable and segregated is a small price to pay. Making them feel uncomfortable labeling them as an “other” is insignificant compared to the damage that will be avoided. Allowing them to use separate public facilities protects my rights and comfort, and lets Catholic priests have access to public facilities as well. Problem solved.

This article is satirical and is not intended to be an accurate representation of my view of Catholic priests or LGBT issues. 

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